You know your life could be better, you know you have more to offer the world, others see it in you, even you see it, but there is just one thing holding you back from making that move…self-doubt.
Some of us go through our whole lives playing it safe with the cookie cutter societal view on how life ‘should’ be. One day you wake up and think “where has time gone?” feeling like you have achieved nothing at all in your life – well, nothing deeply satisfying at least.
Everyone has different situations where the ugly head of self-doubt arises. Self-doubt can hold you back from leaving a toxic relationship, starting a new business, asking your boss for a raise, bringing up a sensitive issue with your partner, being vulnerable with a loved one and so on. The fear of loss, fear of the reaction from others, financial consequences, familial or societal backlash and issues around unworthiness can all contribute to our self-doubt.
Self-doubt creates an energetic split within us between the things we want and the fear of what will happen if we do get it or the consequences of even trying. It’s a ‘push me, pull you’ situation going on which often leaves us feeling stuck, confused and stagnant. And we all know what happens when we are in a state of stagnation. We can become despondent, lacking will power or energy, we can become distant and life becomes lackluster.
So, is it possible to release self-doubt and create a better life for yourself? Absolutely!
First, let’s look at how self-doubt is created.
When you are faced with a small or life changing decision, does the little voice in your head sound like your mother (or father) telling you all of the things that are wrong with what you want to do? If yes, then I’m not surprised. Our parents/caregivers are the only voice of ‘reason’ we have up until we are able to start asserting our own will. They are the bases of our values, belief systems and influence how we see ourselves in the world. For some of us, the ‘you can’t do that’, ‘no’, ‘you’ll hurt yourself’, ‘stop hitting your brother’ can all be translated from our young minds then into our adult minds as disjointed reasons not to try something new.
Our parent’s job was to keep us safe and we trusted them to do so. The problem occurs when we take those cautionary comments from childhood and apply them to our adult selves. They were never meant for you as an adult. They were there so you could live long enough to become an adult. Basic human survival.
Of course this all plays out like a loop in the background of our subconscious…because it’s more fun that way, right?
The other birthing of self-doubt is through our personal experiences of a lifetime that result in belief systems or ‘truths’. And where do we form these belief systems? In the subconscious mind. But also in the body resulting in pain, illness and trauma which is another tool the subconscious mind uses to hold us back from harm so we can survive.
You may have decided to try a new sport and you were terrible at it and received harsh criticism from peers, coaches or family which could translate as ‘I am not good enough’ to the subconscious. You may have applied for a particular job or school and been rejected, resulting in a belief system life ‘I’m not worthy’. You could have asked out your crush but been sorely rejected or humiliated with a resulting belief system of ‘I am rejected’.
Now these subconscious beliefs could have been created during those times of rejection, or they could have simply fueled the belief systems that were already in place from childhood.
Ok, so now we know how self-doubt forms…what can we do about it?
Let’s write down all of the negative beliefs that contribute to your self-doubt. I want you to think of the very first time you felt that way. Write down your earliest recollection of that belief. Then, write down who told you that or when did you believe that to be true.
Here is an example:
I’m not good enough – my mother – gymnastics
I’m not good enough – my father – he chose my brother instead of me to go on a trip
Everyone hates me – no one would let me play with them at lunch time at school
I am unworthy – the priest at church – when I stole a candy bar
I am alone – no one, it’s just how I have always felt
There may be some beliefs that you have felt your entire life without knowing how they started. Write down as many beliefs as you can.
Next, I want you to take a deep breath and ask yourself “what are the top three beliefs from my list that if I were to clear them today, would give me the most advancement in my life and release self-doubt and resistance to the full expression of myself?”
We now find a replacement belief. This may be the exact opposite but sometimes the subconscious wont allow a straight swap. Unless you spend 30 days repeating it as an affirmation. Today, let’s focus on what will be the best replacement belief. Think about how you want to feel and how powerful your life would be with your new replacement belief.
Here are some examples:
Old belief: I am alone
Replacement belief: I am always connected to the Source within me or I know what it feels like to be loved and appreciated
Old belief: I’m not good enough
New belief: Each day I awaken the genius within me and I am boundless
Old belief: I’m unworthy
New belief: I know what it feels like and that I am worthy
Our beliefs can be stored as memory in the body. So, next we find out where our old beliefs are located. Take a deep breath and say your old beliefs to yourself and notice where in your body they are located. Many people feel it in their heart, their gut, around their head but find out where it is located for you. If you do this and cannot feel anything, we will just imagine that the energy is stored in the heart.
Now it is time to release. Here is a simple way of releasing old beliefs and replacing them with new beliefs.
Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths.
Focus your awareness in your heart space and allow your muscles to relax.
Allow the breath to be soft and gentle.
Say your three old beliefs to yourself and notice where they are located in the body.
You may see them as darker energy in that area.
See this dark energy gently gathering and lifting up out of your body in a dark ball above your head. Allow all of that energy to gently lift out of your body.
Now imagine the earth energy coming up through the soles of your feet and as this energy rises up, it fills the areas where the beliefs were with light. Feel this energy rising to the top of your head and see the light energy taking the darker ball of light up out of your space. See it rise all the way up to the sky, past the clouds, the atmosphere, past the galaxies and stars, past the edge of the universe, through all of the layers of white light and dark light, all the way up until you reach a pearl white light.
Now we make the request that these old beliefs be fully resolved on a history level, cancelled and pulled on all other levels and sent to the light of unconditional love to be transmuted. Now watch as this dark ball of negative emotion, trauma, sadness and sorrow be enveloped in the pearl white light and disappear.
Now say your replacement beliefs. See these beliefs as a ball of this bright white light. Collect that beautiful energy. Bring it down with you down through the layers, down through the universe. See this white light fill your entire body. Your body now glows with these new beliefs, this new wave of consciousness, of awakening, of enlightenment, notice the earth as it transforms to support your new beliefs, notice as your body transforms into a body of light, and in this moment recognise that all those things that didn’t make since before now have completion. You are now pure, your body is one, and your mind is infused with the knowledge of the universe.
Ground your energy into the centre core of the earth then bring it back up to your heart space.
Take a deep breath and open your eyes.
Your new beliefs become the new point of attraction for your life experiences and allow you a new perspective on yourself. This allows you space to step into your power to pursue your dreams and awaken new levels of awareness within you.
If you are ready for a deeper level of transformation and letting go of self-doubt to step into a more powerful and magnificent expression of your true self, then please contact me for a personal Theta Healing session or to discuss if Theta Healing is right for you.